Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
