she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Come on in and take your pants off
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