remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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