remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
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Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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