Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
