kristin has been a bad kristin
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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