Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize