just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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