I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
