I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize