OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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