I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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