Jerry, you need to find god
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
it glows. i had to have it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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