Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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