I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
