Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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