the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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