it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i believe in u and ur pee
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
