In the future we'll all be gay
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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