new low.... made out with someone while peeing
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
