And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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