so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
