Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
