I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize