is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
high people should be assigned attendants
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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