god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize