My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
