haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i now understand why vodka
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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