I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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