Taylor Swift is so right about you.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
