Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
