So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
