I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
