I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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