never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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