dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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