Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just want nice things and good sex
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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