I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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