I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
