Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
