His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
