Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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