He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
