I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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