I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
