i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
