somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
