I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
