Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
