There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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