you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
