He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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