Sponge bath it is.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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