yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Let's get the cat blown out
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
