You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize