Having a random hookup so left but love u
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
