please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
