I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
