We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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