Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
