Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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