My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
