Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
