not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
